No Fair! Mine Didn't Come With An OFF Button!

Yesterday morning I decided at the last minute to brave Tot Time at the local library. Lately we haven't been going since it is smack dab in the middle of M's morning nap but since he has been taking 25 minute "naps" lately (grrr...) I figured we could give it a try. I frantically changed two diapers, dressed all three of us, ignored protests as I brushed A's teeth, put on shoes, combed hair, and searched for missing keys in just over 11 minutes. Not too shabby.

So we head out the door, which is always a little annoying when we are in a hurry because of a certain dawdler who always finds a way to stand in front of me in a way that I cannot get around him to buckle in his brother. I finally get them both in the car. We are off.

I flip on the radio. Good song! I turn it up and start grooving. I look back at the boys with a big smile on my face, knowing that at least A will be grooving with me as he so often does. His hands are over his ears and he is glaring at me. Nice. I turn it down, feeling a bit awkward that my two year old thinks my music is too loud. He probably thinks it is too young for me too. Can I help that I like a few teeny bopper tunes every now and then? Sheesh. Judge me why don't you.

We get to the library in record time. There is lots of rain and therefore lots of puddles. A jumps in all of them. I let him because we have time. His shoes are soaked, but shoes dry.

Although there are 3 sets of moms and kids waiting for Tot Time, the room is completely silent. A announces our arrival by throwing Woody (from Toy Story, don't you know) across the room and yelling, "JUMP, Woowee!!!" There are cushions spread out all over the floor so I tell A to choose one to sit on. He apparently needs to test them out first by jumping from cushion to cushion and yelling "JUMP!" (Must I remind you about the wet shoes?) The Moms watch him, stone faced. I wrangle him and try to get him to sit next to me on a cushion. The Moms are still watching. I try to crack jokes and say things like, "Wow, I don't really realize how loud he is until we are out in public!" The Moms glance away. I say, "Does anyone want another two year old to take home?" Ha ha. I'm hilarious. The Moms shoot me uneasy smiles and busy themselves by removing imaginary lint from their (very quiet) children's shirts.

Lots more people arrive and the Storytime Lady gets down to business. She is an older lady and says a lot of things like this, "Clap, Clap, Clap and One, Two, Three; Let's See How Quiet We Can Be!" A is okay on the clapping part. The quiet part? Not so much. She moves on to dancing. The kids Shake Their Sillies Out. They Clap Their Crazies out. They go 'Round the Mulberry Bush.

Storytime Lady tells them it is time to sit down so they can learn about the baby llama. The kids sit down, except for my kid. Apparently he still has Crazies that weren't quite clapped out and he is running around the room doing the Beavis and Butthead laugh ("Uhh huh huh...Uhh huh huh...") I crawl across the floor and wrangle him in again. Not so easy when I am trying to hold M at the same time but I'm talented like that. The Moms stare. I tell him he needs to stay by me. I try to get him to sit on a cushion ("sitting on cushions is SO cool!" and turns into "sit on this cushion, NOW!"). He takes off, running laps around me and his brother. I give up and figure that as long as he is not screaming I can deal with running around.

Three more songs and one more book later Tot Time is over. I watch the other moms give their children hugs and thank them for helping the Storytime Lady gather up the cushions. I fight with A to get his jacket back on. We search for Woody and find him underneath a stack of chairs. We get to the car and I lift A up to put him in his carseat. He throws his arms around me, plants a big kiss on my cheek and says, "Momma? I love you!" (which sounds like "Momma, I yuh u")

I love you too, A. I love you too.